Key Facts:
One in four Australians aged 18–24 say family Christmas gatherings negatively impact their mental health, highlighting the long-term effects of high-pressure festive environments (Medibank, 2024).
Australian families are increasingly choosing smaller, low-key Christmas celebrations to better protect children's emotional wellbeing.
Traditional Christmas expectations - including forced physical affection, public gift opening and pressure to "perform" excitement, can trigger stress and overwhelm in children.
What appears as good behaviour is often masking, with children suppressing discomfort during celebrations and experiencing emotional meltdowns later.
Giving children greater autonomy and choice during Christmas - such as opting out of hugs or taking breaks - helps regulate their nervous system and leads to more genuine enjoyment of the day.
Australian families are quietly redefining what Christmas looks like this year, with many choosing smaller, low-key celebrations as awareness grows around the impact traditional festive gatherings can have on children's mental health.
The shift comes as one in four Australians aged 18–24 say seeing family at Christmas negatively impacts their mental health or wellbeing, according to Medibank's 2024 mental health report - a statistic experts say points to the long-term effects of high-pressure family environments that often begin in childhood.
Former teacher and disability advocate Sarah James, founder of inclusive education business The Sensory Specialist, says the trend reflects a growing understanding of consent, emotional regulation and masking - particularly during highly stimulating events like Christmas.
"Christmas is often loud, crowded and emotionally demanding," James said. "Children are expected to hug relatives, open presents in front of an audience and show excitement on cue. For many children - especially those who are anxious or neurodivergent - that pressure results in masking on the day and emotional fallout later."
James explains that what adults often interpret as "good behaviour" during festive gatherings can in fact be children suppressing discomfort to meet expectations.
"What adults see as coping is often masking," she said. "Children hold it together because they feel they have to, then melt down hours or even days later once they feel safe enough to release that stress."
Families opting for smaller celebrations are often doing so to give children greater choice and autonomy, a key factor in reducing overwhelm and supporting nervous system regulation.
"This isn't about cancelling Christmas or rejecting family traditions," James said. "It's about creating environments where children can engage on their own terms - whether that means saying no to hugs, opening presents later, or stepping away when it becomes too much."
Allowing children choice around physical affection, gift-giving and social participation can significantly change how they experience the day, James adds.
"When children feel a sense of control, their nervous system stays regulated. That's when Christmas becomes something they can genuinely enjoy, rather than something they have to endure."
