Dr Lorna Stabler from Cardiff University is one of a group of volunteers wrapping gifts for a very special Christmas Day event.
Now in its fourth year, the Cardiff Christmas Dinner offers food, gifts, activities, and company for young people who are care-experienced in Cardiff.
Care-experienced young people are those who lived in foster care, kinship care or residential care homes when growing up. When they leave care, they may experience social isolation due to a lack of family network, and moving around in the care system. They are twice as likely to report feeling lonely most or all of the time than other young people in the general population.
Lorna, who is a researcher in CASCADE Children's Social Care Research and Development Centre, was instrumental in starting the yearly celebration in the Welsh capital, knows first-hand what it's like for them; she was living on her own from the age of 16, after spending much of her young life in foster care.
"Christmas should be a time of joy, but it can be really isolating for those who have just come out of the care system," she says. "It's a time when you feel you should be with your family and loved ones, but for many that isn't possible."
Growing up in the North East of England, Lorna and her two younger brothers were separated when they were taken into care. It meant the festive season brought with it mixed emotions.
"Even though my last foster carer was wonderful, you're still separated from the family you love. You feel like you can't really celebrate properly. You're there with other people's family.
"It stops you from fully enjoying it when you're wondering what the rest of your family is doing on Christmas day.
"I left care when I was 16 and was living on my own in a flat. Christmases were whatever I could make of them then. I had friends but they'd have plans with their own families. My brothers were still in foster care. It felt quite isolating."
A positive focus
Lorna has always been determined to pursue higher education, attending the University of East London and gaining a First in International Development.
"Going to university was my way of improving my life and opportunities. One of the worst things for me was how little ambition teachers and social workers had for me. It wasn't really something that people expected of me. I didn't have anyone to do my UCAS applications with or to help me choose my course."
She was offered a job after graduating, but instead had to return to the North East to become a kinship carer for her youngest brother.
"I was 22 when I became a kinship carer," she says. "I had no idea how hard it was going to be. We needed so much more support than we got. We fell between the gaps."
"Even though it was a challenge for us both, it was great to have the opportunity for us to get to know each other again after so many years separated by the care system. We spent a lot of time cooking together, having fiery political debates, and learning from each other's music collections."
Once her brother moved into his own flat, Lorna continued her education, gaining a Master's from the University of Newcastle in International Political Economy.
After finishing her Master's, she began a research career, focusing on social work research, first in London before coming to Cardiff University.
Lorna's brother, who she had cared for, came to live with her in Cardiff. But in 2020, tragedy struck when he passed away.
"His experience of being in the care system affected the rest of his life. He felt quite abandoned by the systems and didn't get the support he needed," she reflects. "Often people say that men need to ask for help when they need it, but despite asking, there wasn't the support on offer." Her brother had only just turned 26 when he died.
Research to help others
Her brother's experiences led Lorna to pursue a PhD, focusing on sibling kinship care.
"Through my own work, I could see that sibling kinship carers were not really being represented in the research and I felt inspired by my family's experiences to change that.
"My PhD involved narrative interviews with kinship carers and their siblings; it's really important to understand people's journeys from their own perspectives.
"I met so many amazing kinship carers who were willing to share their stories with me. They showed the strength and love between siblings, who are caring for each other despite often being separated, overlooked and under supported by the services that should protect them. Everything should be done to keep a young person's relationship with their siblings as well as wider family members such as grandparents and friends. These relationships are so important and it can be so damaging when young people don't have them."
Lorna graduated with her PhD in the summer of this year with her middle brother, mum and husband watching. But she admits it was bittersweet.
"It was an emotional day without my youngest brother there," she says. "He was always one of my biggest champions, and I know he would have been incredibly proud of me."
"I just hope this research highlights an area that has been overlooked and leads to improvements for young people going through the care system now and in the future."
All young people deserve a sense of belonging and support.
As Lorna looks forward to this year's Christmas event for care-experienced young people, she is proud of its success and how it has grown over the years.
"I would have benefitted so much from having an event like this," she says. "We have young people who have been coming here since the start, who now want to help with the organising, passing that lovely experience on to young people who are more recently coming out of care. Some come along with their siblings, giving them the opportunity to make new positive Christmas memories together."
Members of the public can donate to the Christmas Dinner event here: Cardiff Christmas is fundraising for VOICES FROM CARE or buy a gift for a young person here: Amazon.co.uk
