Life can put strain on any couple's relationship. But mindfulness could help keep it strong, according to a recent study from the University of Georgia.
Stress from hardships like financial struggles or unemployment can often bleed into romantic relationships. If someone feels they can't get through tough times with their partner, their relationship can take a hit.
Mindfulness, the practice of staying in the moment, focusing on the present and accepting thoughts and emotions without judgment, could help. UGA researchers surveyed over 400 couples with children who were receiving government services such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and food assistance. It asked about their confidence in their relationship and the level of mindfulness each partner showed.
Based on the survey, couples who displayed more mindfulness were also more certain that their relationship would stay strong during hard times.
"If you're struggling to pay attention or unable to be present in your relationship, how does that impact your relationship with your partner?" said Evin Richardson, the lead author of the study and an assistant research scientist in UGA's College of Family and Consumer Sciences.
"Do you have the ability to develop and maintain a healthy relationship, to deal with conflict in healthy ways? If you are more mindful and more present in your relationship, you're more likely to feel like you have the skills needed to manage issues that arise in your relationship."
Mindful couples reported better relationships as partners, co-parents
Couples showing more mindfulness reported not only greater confidence in their relationships but also better relationship quality overall. They reported they felt stronger not just as romantic partners but as co-parents too.
"We see a lot of spillover between the couple relationship and the co-parenting relationship," said Richardson. "If you feel really confident in your ability to have a healthy relationship with your partner, manage conflict in a healthy way, communicate in a way to be heard and understood, but also to listen and understand, you probably also feel confident in your ability to work with your partner as co-parents."
Effects of mindfulness differ by gender
Both men and women reported that the more confident they felt in maintaining their relationship, the higher their relationship quality. However, women's mindfulness had different effects on the relationship than men's.
When women reported more mindfulness, their male partner was more likely to feel confident in their relationship. On the other hand, when men were more mindful, there was no effect on their female partner's confidence.
Women are often the thermostat. Their actions and perceptions often have the biggest impact on how both partners perceive the relationship."
-Evin Richardson,
College of Family and Consumer Sciences
"Previous research suggests that, in relationships, women are often the thermostat. Their actions and perceptions often have the biggest impact on how both partners perceive the relationship," said Richardson. "In our society, women are often expected to carry a lot of that relationship burden and often report more awareness around the quality of the relationship. We see women engaging with different materials to improve their relationship more often, such as reading self-help books related to relationships or listening to a relationship podcast. They're setting what that temperature is going to be."
Improving mindfulness could improve relationships
This study is part of a larger effort to improve relationships in Georgia: the Elevate Couples Georgia project. Its findings helped explain how improving mindfulness through intervention programs, such as couples relationship education, may help couples improve their confidence in maintaining a heathy relationship, cope with stress and navigate obstacles.
While initiatives like the Elevate Couples Georgia program are available nationwide, often for free or low-cost, couples seeking help may also turn to research-based books and couples therapy, the researchers said.
"Some people will say like mindfulness is a trait that you are born with or you're not. The way I think about it, mindfulness is a muscle," said Richardson. "You can practice mindfulness, be more aware of it and develop strategies to improve it. That's why we teach mindfulness practice. Mindful meditation, prayer, gratitude practices and breathing exercises are all strategies that can improve mindfulness in daily life.
"Taking advantage of those opportunities to improve your relationship and learn these skills, no matter what situation you're in, can have long-term effects on the well-being and stability of yourself and your family."
This study was published in Child & Family Social Work and funded by a grant from the United States Department of Health and Human Services. It was co-authored by Ted Futris.
