Missed Birthdays campaign addresses grief of ambiguous loss for quarter of a million Australians

Missing Persons Advocacy Network (MPAN)

Missing Persons Advocacy Network (MPAN) is today launching the first campaign to address ambiguous loss – a significant form of grief that especially affects the family and friends of missing people.

The Missed Birthdays campaign features the families and friends of two long-term missing individuals, Sydney man Paul Rushworth and Hobart based Naz Samson Woldemicheal, as they send their missing loved one birthday messages in short films.
Ambiguous loss is described by health professionals as a unique type of loss that lacks clarification or closure. It is a particularly common occurrence in those who have missing loved ones but can also affect others, such as those impacted by dementia, and other unclear forms of loss.
The video released today falls on the birthday of Naz Samson Woldemicheal, following his disappearance from North Hobart on 9 October 2016. A video for Paul Rushworth, whose birthday was November 4th, is also featured. He was last seen on 13 September 2013, when he spoke with his long-term partner, Peter, in Circular Quay.
Loren O'Keeffe, Founder and CEO of MPAN, emphasises that ambiguous grief is a significant issue and needs specialist care.
"Whilst every day without their loved one can be a torment, birthdays are one of the hardest days of the year for the families of missing people."
"The purpose of Missed Birthdays is to educate the public on the fact that while we do as much as we can for the missing loved one, we also need to remember the families and friends are also in great need of support.
"Unlike traditional bereavement, where the loss is clear, it doesn't get easier over time. It gets harder. Families don't get the rituals and customs associated with standard grief such as a funeral, burial or a grave to visit. It's a continual loss, so it requires ongoing support", said Ms O'Keeffe.
Academic and leading expert on ambiguous loss, Dr. Sarah Wayland from the University of Sydney, describes the experience as "almost going against the laws of the universe."
"Typically we think if something happens and we don't have an answer, we have to really give it our attention, or do a lot of work in order to find the solution.
"That's the complexity for families of missing people. It's the ultimate of not having an answer to catastrophic questions of 'where is my child?', 'where is my partner?' or 'where is my parent?'"
Dr. Wayland explains that families and friends of missing loved ones are often referred to a grief counsellor.
"But the families are experiencing the unknown. So, if they see a grief counsellor, they might talk about accepting the loss and moving on. But if they don't have the evidence that the loss is final, then they're not going to be able to connect with any of that grief put forward."
Acknowledging the current clinical challenges in this area, the Missing Birthdays campaign is asking Australians to help MPAN raise funds to upskill and support clinicians, enabling them to provide specialist care for the thousands of Australians currently experiencing ambiguous loss.
"If we can alleviate the burden from a family or friend for even a moment, we should," says Ms O'Keeffe.
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