'You can build something you are proud of'
Author Nikkya Hargrove and Prof. Vida Samuel discuss Hargrove's recent memoir and experiences at UConn Stamford (UConn Photo)
Women's History Month kicked off with a bang on Tuesday, March 3, when UConn Stamford hosted author Nikkya Hargrove for a Career Conversation. The event revolved around Hargrove's memoir "Mama: A Queer, Black Woman's Story of a Family Lost and Found," detailing her life as she navigates post-grad life, love, and motherhood.
"The event is a true campus-wide collaboration," said Tara Malone, the Associate Director for the Center for Career Readiness and Life Skills for Regional Campuses. "Multiple departments and both staff and faculty came together to create a meaningful program for our community."
Hargrove opened the event by reading an excerpt from her memoir to a packed auditorium of students and members of the local Stamford public. Afterwards she sat down for a Fireside Chat with Vida Samuel, an associate professor in UConn's department of Human Development & Family Sciences.
The author detailed the circumstances of her tumultuous upbringing and the effects it had on her later in life. Hargrove was predominantly raised by her grandparents, due to her mother's drug addiction and frequent imprisonment. "I couldn't talk about it with anybody," said Hargrove. "I carried the shame of having her incarcerated with me to college."
Hargrove was parentified from a young age, always concerned with her mother's welfare. But college provided Hargrove a reprieve to discover herself. "College was my escape," she said.
But, shortly after graduating, Hargrove's mother passed away. Amidst her grief, Hargrove found a new purpose: raising her new-born baby brother.
"Here was a woman who saw a need," said Prof. Samuel, "her brother in a system that would have swallowed him whole-and then chose a path of immense, exhausting responsibility, without hesitation."
Writing her memoir allowed Hargrove to combine areas of her life she previously kept separate: family and academia. This union has brought her a new purpose, empowering the youth. On March 3, Hargrove looked at the audience of undergraduate students and said, "You can write your own story. We're all born into a story . . . but you all can change that. You can build something you are proud of."
As the lights rose, conversation began amongst those in attendance. Students and faculty alike gathered in groups, buzzing from Hargrove's inspiring words. They deeply affected one student in particular, Victoria Senat '29 (ENG), who shared, "I would say her resilience stood out to me. Whatever you're going through in life, either bad or good, is not going last."
Prof. Samuel shared similar insights: "I hope students walk away understanding that their circumstances are the context of their lives, but they are not the conclusion."
Today, Hargrove is a mother of three children, and the proud owner of Connecticut's first queer, Black woman-owned independent bookstore, Obodo Serendipity Books. She is the editor-in-chief of the Stratford Crier, and the Executive Director of the Stratford Forward, a nonprofit focused on community building.
Hargrove's trajectory in life, though unexpected, has been one of triumph-inspiring UConn students and faculty alike to persist in the face of adversity.
"I hope they took away that their upbringing or trauma or history does not need to define the person they are (or aspire to be). Love comes in many forms - from self-love, to chosen love, and to everything in between."
