Les Mather: A Support Group is a place of trust, humility, and connection
For more than 25 years, Les has been the steady, compassionate presence at the heart of the Westgate Region Prostate Cancer Support Group - a leader who never set out to lead, but whose dedication has shaped one of Victoria's most trusted networks of support.
His journey began in 1996, after being made redundant from the Commonwealth Bank. At the same time, his mother was undergoing treatment for bowel cancer and receiving care at the local community health centre. "I said to myself, I've got to do something - I can't just sit in a chair and vegetate," Les recalled. Volunteering became a lifeline, giving him purpose and a way to give back.
Then, in 1999, a prostate cancer awareness breakfast brought together about 50 men. "It was decided then that we needed a support group in the West," Les said. Five men - including him - stepped forward. "Our first meeting was the 1st of March 1999… and I'm the only surviving foundation member now," he added with quiet pride.
Despite being the group's long-time secretary and facilitator, Les rejects the idea of being 'the leader.'
"I don't see myself as a leader - more as a facilitator, a coordinator," he explained.
"It's not my group; it's our group. I take notice of what the men are saying. I don't push my ideas onto them."
His role is grounded in listening. "I'm very interested in the individual stories of the men and their journeys," he said. "Because I don't have prostate cancer, I rely on the men to tell it how it is. And they do - they call a spade a spade."
Les creates a space where men feel safe to speak openly. "I try to encourage honesty within the group," he said. "If they're upset with something I've said or plan to do, they tell me. And that's how it should be."
He recalls many moments when men walked in anxious but left transformed. "Seeing someone come in apprehensive, and by the end walk out entirely different - that's extremely rewarding," he said.
He shares the story of a distressed newcomer struggling with incontinence. "Within minutes he had an appointment. By the next meeting, he was right - not a problem at all. He was so depressed when he came in, but he walked out a different man."
These moments keep Les going. "When you see that change in someone - that's when you know the group is doing what it's meant to do."
Les's leadership style is shaped by his career in customer service at the Commonwealth Bank, where he once managed 134 staff. "If I was going to introduce something new, I'd go to the frontline," he said.
"They're the ones attending the meetings. They know what they want."
He applies that same philosophy today. "My job is to listen, communicate, and help them get what they need - whether it's information, reassurance, or just someone to talk to."
Outside formal meetings, Les helps run a social catch-up every fortnight. "It's just to talk - not prostate, just talk," he said. "Sometimes that's what men need most."
He stays in touch constantly. "If something comes across my desk, I send it to them. I can't keep lists of who wants what - so I tell them, if you don't want to read it, just delete it," he laughed.
Even during the pandemic, the group survived on phone calls. "We don't do Zoom," he said. "But we carried on. And we survived. I'm happy with that."
Les's advice to newly diagnosed men is simple: "Don't be alarmed or apprehensive. Build up a bit of courage to venture into a support group."
In more than 25 years, only two men have ever come once and decided it wasn't for them. "That's a pretty good record," Les said. "The boys are honest and upfront. They've got nothing to lose by saying what's on their mind."
Most new members come through word of mouth. "A mate talking to a mate - that's how it works," he said. "Bring them along and they're fine."
For Les, leadership isn't about titles. It's about creating a place of trust, humility, and connection - and remembering that no man should have to walk the prostate cancer journey alone.
