While domestic abuse often conjures images of physical violence, an insidious form of control is destroying lives in silence: financial abuse. This hidden epidemic affects 1 in 4 people in Australia, stripping them of their independence, their security, and often, their ability to escape abusive relationships.
In Amanda J. Scott's new book, Finding My Way Back To Me, she shares her story of how she freed herself from 17 years trapped in an abusive marriage.
With nowhere to go, isolated from family and friends, little access to money and two teenage daughters, Finding my Way Back to Me, tracks her journey to overcome financial and psychological abuse and take back control of her world.
"I wrote this book to let others who are living in abusive situations know that escape and a better life are possible," said Amanda.
A Crisis of Silence
The emotional and social consequences of financial abuse often remain unseen and unaddressed. Many survivors suffer in silence due to societal stigma, lack of resources, or fear of judgement.
In Amanda's case the psychological abuse enabled the financial abuse.
"I was told every day that I was stupid, a bad mother and should not offer an opinion about anything other than what went on in the house or the children. I was too scared to question my husband's decisions. All I wanted was peace and for the constant tension in the house to be relieved. So, I did as I was told, hoping that he would be nicer to me."
"In the end my decision to leave came about when I discovered my husband was unfaithful and spending large amounts of money on other women. After spending years scrimping and saving and begging for every cent to spend on our family's needs, I couldn't comprehend the betrayal."
Research shows that financial abuse disproportionately impacts women and manifests in ways that are alarmingly common. These include:
- Withholding Access to Money: Abusers control all finances, leaving women without funds, sometime for even the most basic necessities.
- Sabotaging Employment: From forcing job loss to preventing career advancement, abusers ensure their partners remain financially dependent.
- Mounting Hidden Debt: Women often discover their names tied to unauthorised loans or credit card debt accumulated by their abusers.
- Economic Isolation: By limiting education or access to financial literacy, abusers keep women trapped in a cycle of dependency.
A Call to Action
According to studies undertaken by the UNSW one of the key problems is the hidden nature of financial abuse and that even now, because we do not have a clear definition of economic abuse in Australia, we have no accurate or consistent measures.
Other factors that make it challenging to identify are the gendered nature of managing family finances and the fact that for financial abuse to be identified and measured, the victims must identify as having been abused.
"It sounds strange that it would take seventeen years to realise that the way I was treated was abusive, but no-one wants to believe that they are unloved, and so I made excuses for my husband's behaviour, rather than accept that I wasn't loved, I was abused."
Having experienced all of the common signs of financial abuse in her 17-year marriage, Amanda is calling for more resources and research to be undertaken to make it easier to identify when people are victims of financial abuse.
"Domestic and financial abuse isn't just a personal tragedy; it's a societal failure. To truly address this crisis, we must shine a light on what's hidden in the shadows and often seen as 'too hard' or costly to address."
