As Valentine's Day approaches, many singletons are hoping to discover that one true love. But to find a meaningful, lasting relationship, people should stop looking for a soulmate, says a University of Alberta researcher.
The idea of finding "the one" actually makes that quest more unrealistic, says Adam Galovan, a family scientist in the Faculty of Agricultural, Life & Environmental Sciences and co-author of a new research report that challenges the myth of having a one and only love.
"The idea of having one soulmate in a world of eight billion people can be daunting, and that can make people hesitant to get into or commit to a relationship because they might feel there's a better match out there," Galovan says.
"On the flip side, if things aren't going well in a relationship and you have a 'soulmate' mentality, you might believe you simply chose the wrong person. That can be used as an excuse to not work as hard on a relationship and call it quits," he cautions.
He notes that dating culture commonly embraces "destiny" beliefs —the idea that if a relationship or marriage is "meant to be," things will naturally go well. But that's a flawed notion, he adds.
