Top leaders of the Air Force and Space Force, joined by their spouses, offered observations into the lives of military families and how that dynamic contributes in real ways to readiness and defense of the nation.
The panel included Chief of Staff of the Air Force Gen. Ken Wilsbach and his wife, Cindy; Chief of Space Operations Gen. Douglas Schiess and his wife, Debbie; Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force David Wolfe and his wife, Dr. Doniel Wolfe; and Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force John Bentivegna and his wife, Cathy. Retired U.S. Air Force Lt. Gen. Burt Field, president and CEO of the Air & Space Forces Association, moderated the panel at the association's 2026 Air, Space & Cyber Conference on Sept. 16.
The discussion underscored a central theme: "Readiness begins at home." The panelists agreed that strong families build strong units and a stronger national defense.
Evolving Perspectives on Leadership
Wilsbach explained how his view of leadership has changed over his 41-year career and 26 moves with Cindy. "When you start out earlier in your career, you're very focused on the mission," he said. "As I've gained rank and responsibility, the people piece really expands."
Mrs. Wilsbach shared a memorable example from their time at Kadena Air Base in 2009. While meeting with deployed spouses, she noticed one woman who answered she was "fine" when asked by her husband but clearly was not.
"After watching the interaction, I knew she wasn't fine, so I stepped back and said, 'is everything okay', and it wasn't okay. She had a child with a health problem and was far away from family," she recounted. "That shows me the value of what I bring to this table. I sometimes see things, and I'm told things that he's not."
"All our family members are part of a team. When John gets deployed, that's his away game and he's busy taking care of his away game family," said Mrs. Bentivegna. "But the other teammates are still at home with roles to play. We still have our own goals, and in order to keep a successful team, we have to have good communication. We have to understand the mission, what's going on, and keep everyone, especially our kids, involved to feel part of the team."
Dr. Wolfe highlighted the power of simple kindness, quoting a lesson she learned: "If you treat everybody you meet as if they are going through some big trouble in their life, more than half the time you'll be right." She encouraged everyone to make saying "hello" a regular practice.
Family Stability Equals Warfighter Readiness
The panelists stressed that families directly impact the ability of Airmen and Guardians to focus on the mission. Gen. Schiess noted the unique challenges for a large portion of Space Force personnel who are employed in place.
"I learned early on that if I understand 'the why,' then I can invest more and I can support better as a spouse," said Mrs. Schiess. "And so, taking the time to fill me in, even if he can't give me the details, to say, 'there's something big going on at work and stress levels are high.' Those kind of pieces of information help me to better support him, and I encourage other military members to do the same."
The spouses and their counterparts in the other services are members of the Military Spouse Commission, which President Donald Trump established to advise and assist the president on policies that affect military spouses and families.
Advice to the Next Generation
Panelists were asked what advice they would give to young Airmen, Guardians and their spouses who are just beginning their military journey and offered the following responses:
• Take every opportunity to grow professionally and personally.
• Build and nurture strong relationships.
• Recognize that military service is a family service to the nation.
• Prioritize physical fitness, financial responsibility and emotional resilience.
• Understand the "why" behind the mission to support one another more effectively.
• Never underestimate the power of simple human connection.
"You have to really embrace the preciousness of time because you can't get it back," said Chief Bentivegna. "We're always focusing on that next assignment, next rotation, or the next deployment. You think, 'I've got plenty of time to focus on my finances, education, family, relationships … but you can't get that time back. Make the most of it."
