From left: Dr. Luc Cousineau, Dr. Fang Wan, moderator Nathan Skolski, journalist Jonathan Kay and Dr. John Oliffe discuss whether masculinity is in crisis during the UBC Okanagan Debates event at Kelowna Community Theatre.
A clash over what's driving modern manhood-biology, culture or accountability-set the tone for UBC Okanagan Debates : Masculinity in Crisis on Tuesday night at Kelowna Community Theatre.
Toronto journalist Jonathan Kay and Dalhousie University researcher Dr. Luc Cousineau drew laughs and gasps as Kay argued that men today "aren't getting away with the same bad behaviour they did in the 1970s and '80s," with Dr. Cousineau snapping back, "It's not a crisis of masculinity-it's these guys being jerks."
The 90-minute public debate drew more than 500 people to hear four experts-Kay and Dr. John Oliffe from UBC Vancouver's School of Nursing argued there is a crisis, while Dr. Fang Wan from UBC Okanagan's Faculty of Management and Dr. Cousineau argued there is not.
Together, they explored whether masculinity is collapsing or evolving amid shifting gender roles, online pressures and growing mental-health challenges.
The case for crisis
Dr. Oliffe, founder of UBC's Men's Health Research Program, presented sobering evidence that men's health outcomes are worsening.
"Forty-four per cent of Canadian men who die before age 75 die from preventable causes," he said. "Cancers, cardiovascular disease, overdose and suicide are robbing us of years of life."
Dr. Oliffe argued that traditional masculine norms-stoicism, control and self-reliance-can stop men from seeking help. "We've reduced masculinity to a handful of traits and forgotten it's plural," he said.
Jonathan Kay, editor and podcaster with Quillette, described the crisis as psychological and cultural, driven by status anxiety and online comparisons.
"We live in an era of plenty, where you can order anything on Amazon," he said. "But there are two things they're not making more of-real estate and status. When you were a kid, there was a vacation from the status hierarchy. When I see kids now, because of social media, there's no vacation. You're comparing yourself to kids all over the world … you're counting likes. It's all quantified."
Kay said the constant comparisons are causing boys and young men, to withdraw instead of reaching out.
"Girls and women identify tribally with the anxieties they experience-'I have ADHD or anxiety,' and they reach out to others," he said. "Men and boys, it's the opposite. They retreat. They retreat into video games; they retreat into silence."
Men aren't in crisis
Dr. Cousineau countered that masculinity has never been fixed, and saying it is "in crisis" misunderstands its fluid nature.
"To claim that masculinity is in crisis implies there's one right way to be a man," he said. "Masculinity has always been plural. What it means to be a man in Kelowna in 2025 is not what it meant in 1985."
He argued that the traditional ideal of the male provider is "so far outdated that we've lost the thread," adding that today's confusion reflects a crisis of understanding, not a collapse of identity.
Dr. Wan shifted the discussion beyond North America, arguing that the idea of a crisis is far from universal.
"In many parts of the world-Africa, the Middle East, Southeast Asia-men still dominate the social, political and corporate hierarchy," she noted. "There's no crisis. It's continuity."
She linked gender and power to the online world. Citing recent research and Australia's move to restrict children's social media use, Dr. Wan warned that platforms designed for engagement amplify division.
"Social media rewards sensationalism and polarization," she said. "If it's not extreme, it doesn't get attention-and that hurts everyone's wellbeing."
Collision and consensus
Despite heated moments, the four speakers agreed on one point: men's wellbeing is a public issue that requires empathy, not caricature.
Dr. Oliffe urged that conversations about masculinity must move beyond blame or labels.
"We cannot simultaneously espouse our commitment to inclusion with a singular, deficit-driven masculinity in 2025," he said. "Never use the (toxic) word again. Instead, employ ALEC-Ask, Listen, Prompt for Elaboration, and Check back in-as a means of not perpetuating the decade-long crisis that has been the misrepresentation of masculinity in its singular, deficit form."
Dr. Cousineau's closing remarks echoed the same spirit of reflection: "We're not in crisis-we're just not keeping up," he said. "We need to build a better world where more people can live the best lives they can."
By evening's end, confrontation had turned to conversation. The debate ended without consensus, but there was a shared recognition that masculinity, in all its forms, is still evolving-and worth debating.
