Couples who spend more time savoring the pleasurable moments they share are happier together, argue less and are more confident their relationship will last, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign researchers say in a new study.
"Savoring involves slowing down to become aware of and focus on positive experiences," said first author Noah Larsen, a graduate student at Illinois. "Savoring can occur when we reminisce on a past experience, focus on the present moment or look ahead to a future experience."
While prior research found that savoring offered many benefits for individuals, Larsen said that he and his co-authors - Illinois human development and family studies professors Allen W. Barton and Brian G. Ogolsky - decided to explore it as a joint interpersonal activity that occurred between romantic partners. Participants in the current study were part of a larger research project that explored resilience in romantic relationships.
Photo by Fred Zwicky
A nationwide sample of 589 people completed an online survey that measured how often they and their romantic partners would savor positive experiences in their relationship. The scale, called Joint Savoring in Romantic Relationships, was an adapted version of the widely used Savoring Beliefs Inventory, which measures individual savoring. The online survey included additional measures assessing how satisfied participants were with their relationship with their spouse or significant other, their levels of communication conflict and their confidence that the relationship would last.
In addition, the study also measured the participants' perceived stress levels, such as how often in the past month they felt on top of things or, conversely, that they could not cope with all the things they needed to do. Participants also rated their quality of life, general health and levels of psychological distress.
Of these 589 participants, more than 85% were married, about 10% were engaged and 4% were in a committed dating relationship. The participants' partners were not part of the study, however. The participants' average age was about 39 years. Slightly more than half of them were female, more than 85% were white, and the participants had an average household income of $85,000 to $95,000, according to the study.
Photo by Fred Zwicky
The levels of individual savoring and joint savoring with partners were generally high, and their levels of perceived stress were low, the team found.
"We found that joint savoring has the most benefits for romantic relationships, as well as secondary benefits for individuals' health and well-being," Larsen said. "Specifically, individuals who engaged in more joint savoring with their partners reported less conflict with them, more satisfaction with their relationship and more confidence in their future together."
Among couples that were experiencing high levels of stress, joint savoring had protective effects, Larsen said. "When couples face greater stress, savoring can serve as a buffer, helping protect their confidence in their relationship and their mental health."
"Being able to identify factors that provide this type of buffering effect is important for marriage and romantic relationships, as they provide tangible things that couples can do to keep their relationship strong, even in the midst of heightened levels of stress," Barton said.
Photo by Michelle Hassel
Focusing on the positive experiences that we share with our partners can be a relationship maintenance or enhancement strategy, the team wrote.
"We all are busy and have so many things going on in our day-to-day lives," Larsen said. "Finding time - even just once a week - to slow down, be present with your partner and talk about positive experiences in your relationship or focus on something you both enjoy can really benefit you as a couple. That might be reminiscing about a memory from earlier in your relationship, enjoying a dinner together or talking about an upcoming event that you both are excited about. And if you are going through a stressful time, making time for these conversations can be especially important."
