New mothers only have approximately one hour out of their waking day for rest, according to new research.
Parents need greater support to achieve more quality me-time
The study also shows that time 'alone' for new mothers is now always with their baby present and this time is rarely restful.
Instead, it is filled with non-stop chores and emotional overload leading to increased stress, loneliness and emotional exhaustion.
When mothers had even small amounts of quality me-time - where they were not looking after the baby or working for example - they felt better.
The research, by experts at the Universities of York and Durham, Leeds Beckett University and University College London, highlights the need for greater support to help parents get more quality me-time or at least breaks from childcare and chores.
Solitude
Dr Delali Konu, Research Associate at the University of York's Department of Psychology, said: "It is important to consider additional support for new parents to help with caring responsibilities, particularly for those who may not have immediate access to support."
The study, based on interviews with 22 mothers and real-time activity tracking with 47 mothers, found that being alone with a baby doesn't always feel like true solitude. For many new mothers, it's a mix of feeling isolated, responsible, and constantly on alert - even when no one else is around.
Dr Thuy-Vy Nguyen from the Department of Psychology at Durham University, said: "Our study shows that better support systems are needed so that mothers can have proper 'me-time', not just short breaks to get their chores done.
"If new mothers can have increased quality time for themselves, it shows they will feel better and less stressed."
Short bursts
On average, the mothers in the research had less than a third of their day for 'personal time,' scattered in short bursts. This time included things like showering, eating, or walking, usually done quickly and often with interruptions. The constant physical and mental multi-tasking left many feeling deprived of true me-time.
Many mothers feel like they are "always on", even during supposed breaks. The emotional and mental demands of caring for a baby, combined with the loss of meaningful alone time, can increase feelings of loneliness and make it harder to recover from daily stress.
The largest share of mothers' days, around 60 per cent, was spent at home, much of it devoted to childcare, which took clear priority. Personal time often overlapped with chores, errands, and occasional social activities, while rest and relaxation tended to fall to the bottom of the list.
Mood
While many mothers turned to TV or music during quiet moments (like breastfeeding or babies' naps), these activities were not linked to better moods. In fact, more time spent on entertainment was sometimes associated with more stress or boredom.
The study also showed that loneliness in new mothers isn't always about the lack of people around you. It can come from a loss of personal identity, lack of meaningful social connections, or simply from feeling unsupported. This is especially true for single mothers, those without family support, or those whose babies have additional needs.
The research, published in the British Journal of Psychology, was funded by the Economic and Social Research Council.
