"Productivity guilt" is the title I have given to that icky, anxious, shamed feeling I know so many of us will have experienced when we dare to do something other than schoolwork in our "free time." No matter where we are in the semester, there is always some deadline or another looming, and it can be difficult to divide the time we spend outside of class between life and schoolwork without becoming overwhelmed by this feeling of productivity guilt – that we should be doing something productive to stay on top of things or save ourselves from later stress.
And while it is crucial that university students dedicate a given amount of time and energy to our schoolwork (or any other responsibilities we may have), it is equally important – if not more so – that we make time to take care of ourselves, enjoy moments with our loved ones, and unwind from the pressures we face.
When I was explaining this concept to my fellow YouAlberta blogger, Ishan, he recalled the saying "If you don't find time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness." It's such a simple concept, and yet, so many of us struggle to implement it in our day-to-day lives. So in the interest of helping you battle your productivity guilt, here is everything I do to overcome mine.
Don't ignore your to-do list
Sounds kind of counterintuitive to everything I just said, right? It's actually not; just hear me out. I'm not suggesting that you get right down to work on your to-do list in your first free moment – whether that be the weekend, a reading break, or the elusive unscheduled day we all dream will find us throughout the week – what I'm saying is, don't rush to take full advantage of your free time until you've established some sort of game plan for how you will complete whatever it is that's taking up space on your planner. That way, when the nagging voice of productivity guilt pipes up saying "What are you doing watching TV when you have a paper due?" you can shut it up with a scheduled plan of attack.
I highly recommend writing out a list of everything you can think of that needs to be done – including the small things! You'll get more satisfaction out of checking off a long list, trust me. Next, number all of it in order of priority – what's due first? What's going to take you the longest? Once you have that much figured out, you can schedule your time accordingly. I'm not advocating for scheduling every minute of your day – unless that kind of structure works for you, in which case I'm envious – but instead for setting aside time each day that is explicitly reserved for fulfilling responsibilities, leaving you free to enjoy the breaks of time in between as you see fit.
It is, of course, easy for me to sit behind my keyboard and suggest that you schedule your free time carefully enough to both complete your to-do list and enjoy yourself, but even the best-organized of us will know it's never that simple. Nevertheless, that easy little first step of making yourself look at the list, rather than seizing upon the first opportunity to throw your books in the corner and do anything other than the reading you're so eager to be taking a break from, will save you from guiltily wondering "How better could I be using my time?" while you should be present in the moment and enjoying yourself.
Self-care (and figuring out what it looks like for you)
As someone who lives with clinical anxiety, one of the healthy habits I try to maintain are sessions with my therapist. And when I (regularly) confide in her something along the lines of "I have so much to do that I'm sacrificing everything I want to do and I'm just SO anxious," her initial response is always the same. Most likely already anticipating my unsatisfactory answer, she will ask "What self-care have you made time for this week?"
Again, this probably sounds counterintuitive. How can focusing on myself, rather than my growing to-do list, make me feel less guilty about not being productive? The answer is simple: the better you feel, the better you do. How can I expect myself to be productive if I'm not creating space for myself to function at my best?
Self-care doesn't only mean bubble baths and movie nights – though I highly recommend both. It can look different for everyone, and it can change from day to day. I'm perpetually hard on myself and I have a difficult time feeling like I deserve to take a break. When I explained this to my therapist, she suggested that I try to reconceptualize what self-care means to me. I find it easiest to convince myself I'm doing whatever it is for someone other than myself, that I'm being selfless rather than selfish. Sometimes, that looks like taking my dogs for a walk: subconsciously I know the fresh air and exercise are benefiting me, but in the moment I quiet my productivity guilt by thinking "Well, the dogs need to be walked." Other times it means returning a phone call I missed from my sister, and telling myself the time we spend gossiping is for her sake rather than mine (we all secretly know better).
Neither walking the dogs nor calling my sister are related to my productivity-guilt-inspiring to-do list, but in making time for myself and the ones I love I am able to recharge, in addition to finding easy ways to enjoy my time without feeling like I'm 'wasting' it.
Ponder Your Priorities
We all have lives outside of school, even if we sometimes feel like we've lost touch with them. And when we're suddenly faced with free time, it can quickly become a race to fit in everything we've been missing. Catching up with friends, visiting family, reading the book or watching the TV show you haven't had time for, or maybe just taking a while to yourself to breathe – it can seem as though you're being pulled in a dozen different directions. Chances are, you won't be able to do it all (for tips on what to do when you feel like you're missing out, see Nathaniel's post on Dealing with FOMO!), or else you'll burn yourself out trying. And if you're going to end up burnt out from your free time, where's the point in taking a break in the first place?
My advice is to be as cutthroat about it as you can be. Now that you've set aside dedicated time to completing your responsibilities, and taken your self-care into consideration to ensure you're at your best, you have the liberty of asking yourself: What do I want to do most?
It's a tricky question to answer if you, like me, have immediate family spread across provinces, friends with schedules even busier than my own, and a conflicting desire both to make plans and to stay home whenever possible. One thing I've learned, though, is that the people who love you want to see you happy, plain and simple. They can't hold it against you if the plans you end up making don't involve them, or if your attention needs to be divided between them and your other responsibilities.
Remember, your free time is your own to do what you want. Don't feel guilty for not wanting to dive head-first into your schoolwork this Reading Week, and don't regret any of the time you spend being 'unproductive,' because the time you take to rest – so long as you really do prioritize your self-care – will actually serve to help you be more productive once the break is over!
