It might sound like a contradiction, but if you're feeling lonely, you're not alone.
One in four Australians experience persistent loneliness , indicating that its associated impact on happiness is something many of us can relate to.
Considering this prevalence of loneliness, and its known links to emotional distress, it's apt that the focus of this year's World Mental Health Day in Australia encourages social connection.
When we're socially connected our mental health is better for it, but the benefits extend beyond this to brain health and surprising aspects of physical health.
The good news is that health benefits can be realised across the lifespan, so it's never too late to build a more connected life.
Why do so many people feel lonely?
Causes of loneliness vary, but many of the common contributors are external to you.
Societal factors that can lead to loneliness include: the juggle of parenting and working; geographically dispersed family members; cultural disconnection; a reduced sense of community; and increased use of technology.
Life events that can lead to loneliness include: loss of a loved one; relationship breakdown; moving to a new town; financial hardship; retirement; graduating from school; experiencing trauma; and chronic health conditions.
We can also experience a 'loneliness cycle' - feeling lonely can lead to emotional distress, which can make social interactions more difficult, which can further contribute to loneliness.
The bottom line is, feeling lonely is not something to be ashamed of. It is feedback that you aren't getting enough of a basic human need - social connection.
Why we are 'wired' for social connection
Loneliness is more than just a feeling - humans are biologically 'hard wired' to connect with others.
Our brains have evolved in tandem with humanity's complex social networks. Accordingly, most areas of the brain are involved to some degree in social behaviour.
The brain reacts differently when feeling lonely compared to feeling connected. Loneliness can be interpreted by the brain as a threat akin to physical pain, which can activate stress responses.
On the other hand, time spent connecting and bonding with people increases the release of hormones, including oxytocin, that can enhance feelings of connectedness and downregulate parts of the brain associated with feeling anxious in social situations.
Each person differs in the amount of social connection they need, so there is no prescription for what is right for you. However, feeling lonely is a signal that you may need more meaningful social connection.
Benefits of social connectedness
Social connectedness is more than the absence of loneliness. It also encompasses a sense of belonging within a social network. This could be family, friendships, shared interest groups, work, or neighbourhoods, for example.
When we feel connected to others, we receive emotional benefits, such as a lower likelihood of depression.
Social connectedness is also linked to better regulation of the 'fight/flight' stress response . This may be because familiar faces inhibit neurobiological defence mechanisms . Put simply, when we recognise people around us our brain feels more safe.
Other health benefits are perhaps more surprising; social connectedness can strengthen your immune response and reduce your risk of heart disease . This is likely due to loneliness being linked to inflammation and stress on the body.
There is another aspect of our need for social connectedness that equalises us as humans - it's beneficial no matter our age.
Social connectedness in youth
Feeling more connected at school or with family is linked to higher self-esteem, and reduced risk of depression, suicidal ideation and social anxiety in youth.
Our Longitudinal Adolescent Brain Study , tracking the brain development of 12- to 17-year-olds, found a significant negative correlation between social connection and psychological distress - as social connection increases, psychological distress decreases, and vice versa.
Social connectedness in ageing
The famous Harvard 'Happiness Study' has tracked adults since 1938 to uncover what makes a healthy, happy life. At age 50, participants' satisfaction with their personal relationships was the biggest predictor of health at 80 (more important than cholesterol!).
Social contact is a protective factor against dementia, and enhances cognitive reserve - the brain's resilience to the effects of ageing.
Our Healthy Brain Ageing research team have found that impacts of lifestyle factors, including lower social connectedness, show up in the brain well before any signs of dementia emerge. This includes reduced white matter volume, imbalances in electrical activity , and concentrations of neurochemicals .
How to build connections
For many people, reducing feelings of loneliness can take time. Some causes of loneliness can be prolonged, and establishing new relationships can be initially daunting.
It might be helpful to know, however, that your efforts to connect with others don't have to be big to benefit your health, particularly as they accumulate over time.
Some suggestions are:
- Walk your neighbourhood, offering a smile or wave to people you encounter (tip: dogs are excellent ice breakers)
- Consider welcoming a pet into your home
- Patronise your neighbourhood's shops and cafes, and show their staff your appreciation for their service
- Join a group with a common interest, online or in-person
- Follow council websites and community social media pages to find free activities, classes or community events
- Dedicate extra time, however small, to people you care about - it can be as simple as sending a text or voice message
- If you're short on time, turn existing commitments into social opportunities e.g. exercising with a friend or colleague
- Notice who else may be experiencing loneliness, and offer them a friendly conversation
- Most of all, be kind to yourself. Feeling lonely is not a fault. It is an experience all humans are susceptible to.
Get involved in World Mental Health Day
- World Mental Health Day, Australia : "Connect with your community"
- Queensland Mental Health Week : "Connect for mental health"
- South Australia Mental Health Month : "Connecting when it counts"
Watch now
Brain Science for Wellbeing webinar
For a deeper dive into the neuroscience of social connectedness, delivered with compassion, watch a recording of our webinar 'Social connectedness: Why it matters for your brain and mental wellbeing'.
