For years, all Michail Timanov wanted was to win. In sports, at school, and in gaming. He brought that same hunger for success to his studies at TU/e. But what started as a race to the top ended in heavy depression and severe anxiety issues, followed by a long road to recovery. And yet, he made it back. This is Michail's story, and how he learned that real strength sometimes starts with the courage to stop.
Bulgarian student Michail Timanov (23) had only one goal as a kid: to win. In taekwondo, at school, and in video games. "I was sharp, focused, a high performer. Discipline was in my blood. I ranked among the European elite in World of Tanks. People looked up to me, and it inflated my ego. I felt unstoppable. I felt like a God."
"When I came to TU/e, I thought: now I will make it in the real world. I have the focus, the discipline. I wanted to be smarter than ever, reach the top, and get rich. I was extremely ambitious and wanted to have a brain and wallet like Bill Gates or Elon Musk."
During the pandemic, Michail started his bachelor's degree in Computer Science at TU/e, studying from home in Bulgaria. "That first year, everything blurred together-classes, gaming, partying, freedom. I didn't pass my exams, but I wasn't worried. Until the summer of 2020, when my dad looked me in the eye and asked: 'What are you doing with your life?' I realized: I had to choose between gaming and real life."
Turning point
"That moment changed everything. I decided to go all-in on my studies. Full focus. No distractions. I started reading everything I could get my hands on-rocket science, physics, chemistry."
"My brain became a thinking machine. I visualized cities on Mars, energy solutions, and future scenarios. I started living more and more in my head, lost in my thoughts, than I did in real life. I was deliberately visualizing 3-4 hours a day, doing concentration exercises, and taking nootropic pills to enhance brain function. At one point I realized I was trapped in my head, in my thoughts, and I couldn't stop it or escape from it. My mind was racing all the time. That is when I realized I had a big problem..."
Fun with friends? Not anymore. "I believed I had to resist all distractions. I stopped going to the beach, skipped parties, and shut down my social life. Few summers, I did nothing but study and work out. Everything else got pushed aside."
I read everything - rocket science, physics, chemistry.
My brain became a thinking machine.
Michail Timanov
Ignore the warning signs
At first, this new approach seemed to work. "I caught up. Crushed my exams. But after a year, something started to feel off. My body and mind were sending signals, but I ignored them. I had anxious thoughts and felt low. It was like my 'chimp'-that emotional, impulsive part of the brain-was screaming at me. I just kept telling myself: this is part of the grind. Push through."
But pushing through caught up with him. "In my third year, after a summer of nothing but studying, I broke. I had panic attacks. Felt lost, purposeless. My grandfather passed away during that time, and it was the final blow. Everything went dark. I couldn't function anymore during the day. I was very scared. I thought I was going to die in a few months."
Shame and the start of healing
"I always said: 'I'll never burn out-that won't happen to me.' But it did. And I was ashamed. In Bulgaria, we don't talk about mental health that much." Admitting something was wrong took courage. "I quit my studies, opened up to my parents and friends, and reached out to a psychologist. I told them I was struggling."
"That was the beginning of my recovery, which took nearly three years. I built my days around healing: sleep, exercise, meditation, and social connection. I stopped doing everything on my own. I asked for help when I actually needed it. And I learned something crucial: asking for help isn't a weakness-it's a strength."
Asking for help isn't a weakness-it's a strength.
Michail Timanov
Michail's tip for wellbeing
● Seek help. "You don't have to do everything on your own. See a psychologist, therapist, or anyone. Talk to family and friends. Tell them what you are going through. Even if you think you're still fine. Because if you wait until you're not, it might be too late."
● Sleep. "Not five, not six, but eight hours a night. Become a pro at it."
● Move. "Find some type of movement you enjoy-snowboarding, dancing, swimming, yoga, gym, calisthenics. Movement is healing."
● Connect. "I learned that your social life is as important as your studies. Plan it. Put it in your calendar. Go out, dance, and talk to strangers. Have family activities and make new friends. We all need other people in our life."
Photo: Bart van Overbeeke
Coming back to life
Reconnecting with his body and with nature helped Michail tremendously. "I went snowboarding in the mountains, started dance classes, and met new people. That summer, I traveled with friends and family and rediscovered how to enjoy the moment. Slowly, I started to trust myself again. I became calmer. You really need to let time heal your wounds, while doing practices that improve your wellbeing daily."
"I also found a new purpose: not to be the smartest or richest, but to wake up happy and energized. To wake up feeling excited about life. I try to stay present. I meditate daily-not to perform, but to return to myself."
I might not become Elon Musk anymore. But I'll become the best version of me.
Michail Timanov
"I'm truly happy now, even when stressed about exams. I feel like a kid again-I do fun things. I'm finding my way in life, my studies, and my relationships. I want to bring positivity into the lives of others."
"I'm not who I used to be. My working memory is weaker, and my cognitive abilities aren't what they were. I'm a bit dumber and less organized. But I'm fine with that. Maybe I won't become Elon Musk. But I will become the best version of me."
