A new global study in PNAS shows that culture may shape how people respond to others' emotional distress. Across 17 countries, researchers found that people in more individualistic cultures are more motivated to make others feel better, and more likely to behave in ways that will make others feel better (for instance, expressing care). The findings reveal that trying to help others does not look the same everywhere, informing our understanding of culture, mental health care, and communication in increasingly diverse societies.
When someone you love is upset, your first instinct may be to comfort them. To reassure them. To make them feel better.
But what if that instinct isn't universal?
A new international study led by Dr. Maya Tamir and PhD. student Shir Ginosar Yaari of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), challenges one of psychology's long-standing assumptions: that helping others feel better is a universal motive. Instead, the research shows that people in different cultures have different ideas of what supporting others should look like.
While psychologists have spent decades studying how people regulate their own emotions, this study turns the spotlight on something less explored: how people try to regulate the emotions of others. The findings reveal that culture may inform how people manage the emotions of others more strongly than it informs how people manage their own emotions.
This research combined data from more than 6,900 participants across 17 countries spanning Europe, Asia, Africa, North and South America, and the Middle East, making it one of the broadest investigations of interpersonal emotion regulation to date. The researchers also followed couples in Germany and South Korea in their daily lives to examine how people naturally respond to their partners' emotions.
The researchers found that people in more individualistic cultures were more motivated to reduce other people's distress than those in more collectivistic cultures. On average, participants from more individualistic countries, such as Germany, the United States, and the United Kingdom, were more motivated to help others feel better. By contrast, participants from more collectivistic countries, including South Korea, Japan, India, and China, were less likely to view unpleasant emotions as something that should necessarily be eliminated, reflecting broader cultural beliefs that unpleasant emotions can be valuable. The findings reflect broad cultural patterns rather than characteristics of any single country.
"We often assume that if someone is suffering, the kind thing to do is to make them feel better," said Dr. Maya Tamir, senior author of the study. "Our findings suggest that this assumption reflects cultural values more than universal human nature."
The study found that in countries emphasizing individual achievement and personal happiness, people were more likely to comfort others by expressing care, listening, encouraging acceptance, and helping them reframe difficult experiences. They were also less likely to encourage emotional suppression or dwelling on negative feelings.
In more collectivistic cultures, however, the picture was different.
The researchers suggested that unpleasant emotions are not always viewed as problems to eliminate. Instead, they may be seen as serving valuable purposes, promoting self-improvement, strengthening relationships, encouraging reflection, or helping people find meaning. As a result, making someone feel better is not necessarily the best way to support them.
Perhaps the study's most surprising finding was that culture mattered more in how people tried to influence the emotions of others than in how they tried to influence their own emotions.
Across countries, people were similar in their motivation to make themselves feel better. What varied was how much they wanted to change someone else's emotions.
"Culture doesn't just shape how we experience emotions," said Tamir. "It shapes what we believe other people should feel and how we think we can best help them."
Emotional support isn't one-size-fits-all. The researchers also discovered that these cultural differences have consequences for relationships.
In Germany, a more individualistic culture, people who were more motivated to reduce their partner's distress reported feeling closer to their partner. This association did not emerge in South Korea, where the motivation to make one's partner feel better was unrelated to feelings of closeness to the partner.
The findings suggest that what counts as emotionally supportive behavior depends on cultural context.
The project brought together researchers from universities across Europe, Asia, North and South America, Africa, and the Middle East. Combining three complementary studies, including large international surveys and daily diary data from romantic couples, it is among the largest international investigations of interpersonal emotion regulation ever conducted.
Why it matters
In an increasingly interconnected world, misunderstandings often arise not because people care less, but because they express care differently.
Whether in multicultural families, international workplaces, education, healthcare, or mental health care, recognizing that emotional support looks different in different culture can foster better communication, stronger relationships, and more culturally sensitive approaches to care.
Rather than asking, "How can I make you feel better?" this research suggests we may sometimes need to ask a different question: "What kind of support is right for you?"
